HOW GOOD ARE YOUR PERSONAL BOUNDARIES?   The food, drink and pills you take in through your mouth determine more than anything else how healthy your body is. Likewise the beliefs, expectations and responsibilities you take in through your relationships mostly determine the health of your heart, mind and soul. Your happiness depends even […]

NEWS FEEDS: How do you Know what’s Really Happening? Think about your exposure to the news of the day.  Some still get it from newspapers, TV, and radio news on the hour.  But more and more people now are getting their news filtered, through podcasts, radio talk shows, phone apps, social media feeds, and websites […]

Making Important Decisions When difficult, important decisions have to be made, it’s good to have a clear view of our priorities. We need to know the goals we have set and the principles we believe in to help us reach those goals. We look for confirmation of our decisions in our moral reasoning, gut-level feelings, […]

ARE YOU IN DEFIANCE OF MEDICAL COMPLIANCE? Has your doctor told you that you are making yourself sick, that your pain or disability will continue to get worse until you change your lifestyle?  Perhaps you have had trouble complying with doctor’s orders about alcohol, cigarettes, street drugs, prescription pills, physical therapy, losing weight, getting exercise, […]

  HOW TO PREPARE FOR YOUR MARITAL COUNSELING          To get ready for marital counseling, to avoid either of you being expected to work on something you don’t want to address, and to make sure you hit the floor running, you would both do well to: Write down your hopes for any marital counseling you […]

MANAGING CHRONIC PAIN:  STOCKING YOUR TOOL BOX For the first time in my life last winter, I let pain whip me.  I panicked in an ER that wasn’t diagnosing or treating me.  I fought the pain and in my own eyes, made a big baby out of myself.  All that energy I put into pushing […]

THE BEST USES OF EMOTIONS AND BELIEFS A client recently taught me a helpful little verse: Feel your feelings,      and talk them out. Believe your beliefs,      and act them out. I can think of three ways we often violate this helpful little guideline. We neglect it altogether. When we mess up a situation, […]

PSYCHOLOGY 101: MAKING SENSE OF MOTIVATION   Ever wonder why two brothers or sisters turn out to be so different from each other? What drives some people to love so strong, or work or play so hard? What makes your personality the way it is? The view of human nature you will find below does […]

  IS YOUR FAITH HEALTHY?   What is healthy faith, anyway, and who am I to judge it? As a psychologist, I can tell when people’s religious beliefs and lifestyles are enabling them to enjoy life, be enjoyable to others, and leave the world a better place each day. No matter what a person’s religious […]

   After Breaking up, Can We Still be Friends? [This was my first newspaper column, done in the 1970's. I still believe it, and our society still doesn't.]              Reader: My lover and I are breaking up a 16-month-long relationship. I want to hang onto this as a friendship, but he says it can’t be […]